Now Is Forever

Now Is Forever

This thought came to me as I sat on the couch the other day remembering some of my entries in my old journal I’d read recently that mirrored my current thoughts. What I found was myself in a state where I was downing myself for one imperfection or another – my lack of production over this summer, primarily!  Persecution got me nowhere, ever, but feeling badly, and failing to move forward with any specific productivity worth speaking of.

I thought about how I began to perpetuate that reality as I continued to think in that manner. So, I almost instinctually, and very quickly, decided to just change my mind, to change my thoughts, to change my reality. And, so, I did.

I will have a new now. I will have a new forever. “Now is forever.”  Now is positive. Now is Good!

Holly

 

Giving Myself a Smile

“Sometimes, the best smile we get in life, is the one we give to ourselves.”

So, finally, I got in the pool beginning my triathalon swim training. Last week I tried in the ocean, where the event will occur, which got me about 30 seconds to maybe a minute or two. But I was not able to breath well enough to continue comfortably. Swimming is

not (yet) a strong event for me. Holly love BeachFeeling unsuccessful and weak, I banned it for a while, focusing instead on my bike and run events, each of which are progressing nicely along. At any rate, I made it a goal yesterday to get swimming, finally.

When I went to the gym, I rode the bike for 45 minutes and thought I’d hit the lanes after that. Finding that they were occupied, I happily cruised-out of there, but I knew I was not off the hook. I have a pool right outside my door. Given it’s much smaller, the absence of excess chlorine and the presence of sun shining on me as I swam, I was cool with that during my first official train. I needed those quick fraction-of-a-second breaks too while turning around at each short end to help me with my breathing.

I hymned and hawed with getting out there initially, but eventually made it. First, I did pretty much every chore on my list! My house smelled great, my fridge, floors, kitchen and bath were all clean! I was out of chores besides laundry which was also occupied. However, the benefit to that, after my accomplishment, I would get to come back in to my nice, clean pad and enjoy the rest of my evening.

Having my bathing suit on already, I stuck on my head my cap and goggles, and in considering the end, I claimed to myself, “I am doing it,” and with a smile on my face, I gave myself the thumbs up in the mirror, and I walked outside.

Don’t think of it too much – pull off the band-aid – just do it!! This is where I was at.

Breathing is a priority for me and this is a challenging event in that regard!

I gave myself a five to 15-minute limit. I jumped in, put my goggles down, and finally headed through the water. After a while, my shoulder began bothering me. I pressed in, instead of using it for an excuse to quit, and just made my strokes even more deliberate, focused. Eventually, I was pain free.

After a little while longer, I stopped. I’m finished. I looked at my time, and had swam for over 15 minutes. “I did it!“ I was so happy!

Pleased with my progress, and happy I made it with seeming ease, I jumped out, with a smile on my face, and pressed on toward my evening!

As I readied myself for my shower and prayed gratefully, I considered why the swim was seemingly so easy for me, and I then recalled that maybe it was because a bit of grace was shed upon me as I swam, in response to my prayer I shot up earlier, “Please help me, God.” Thank you, Lord!

Accomplishments and fulfilling my goals fills me up with joy and makes me happy. I have found that sometimes in life, the best smile we can get is the one we give to ourselves.

Holly

“God Loves You”…

When I took the pizza back to him, I told him I got him a soda too in case he’d like a little something else besides the beer! Also, as I parted, I told him  “God loves you” because I wanted him to know that truth!

That’s when he told me, “I know. He’s showing me through you. Thank you.”

We are to the be the hands and feet of god in this world. “Where is God?” people may ask.  Believers, we are God’s emissaries. We are to do his work for helping and loving others where we can.

I told this to a man, Tim, I’d met earlier tonight just before leaving him. “I know,” he replied. “He is showing me through you. Thank you.”

I pulled in to the area where I was going to get my dinner. This car pulled out and was blocking me from going in front of where I was going to park. I had to pull in or cause a scene that was unnecessary because I’d seen this young man sitting on the sidewalk and I didn’t want to park there.

I figured things weren’t great for him. I didn’t want to park in front of him and deal with his issue. Looks like I’m not getting out of this. I had to look at this. Why does this bother me? You can help him. There is inherently, at least within me it feels, I think an anger that rises up, like, why are you on the street? What happened? Why aren’t you doing your part? Why do I have to be the one to help you – to take care of you? I think it’s almost a resentment in that sense, but, before I let that go anywhere too far, I remembered that I can help him, simply – no need to take him in and take on all his issues, but I can give him something if he needs it. I didn’t have to do anything either. I just went with it – where I was being placed – in front of a man seemingly in need. I can help, if need be. I never used to think twice about giving money to people on the street.

I went in the store. On the way out, I had a hand full of money and my cream. “Hey lady, can you spare a couple dollars?” “Sure.” I went in my car, sorted out my situation and got my money card too because giving him a couple of bucks would cause me to need my money card. I got out of my car and went to him and handed him the money and inquired as to what is going on with him. He informed me he’d be on the street a minute because he’d had a fight with his cousin. While we talked a kid brought him a beer in a paper bag. He shared that alcohol is the only thing that makes him feel better right now. I took it upon myself at that point to ask about his salvation being that he was blessing me earlier with God after I’d given him the money, and I told him that God can give him peace beyond all understanding. I told him that God loves him and His will for him is not to be on the streets.

He told me he once lived righteously and chose the path he is on now again. I shared I’d done the same and it hurt me and others, but I chose again, and that God through Jesus will help him too.

My intention on talking to him about the Lord was that Jesus has the words of life. My few bucks would do no good in the long-run, but what I could share and pray for him may be what changes his mind and life in the long run, or plants a seed that is watered later by others, and brought to fruition, later still, by the Lord. But by whatever means it works out, I felt for the first time the urgency of providing the truth to this boy and sharing my testimony, in part, as well. If he lets Jesus in and trusts God with his life, he can change – God will shepherd him. That is more important than money. Still, I left him with a few bucks, told him the Lord loves him, and hopefully shared the good news in some saving way while I also prayed with him.

I prayed that he was saved among other things, but finally, too that he know the love of Christ and God as his Father. That is so important, at least it has been for me. I left it there, closed it out in Jesus’ name and went to the place next door to get my dinner. I’d asked him before I proceeded forward if he’d like some pizza, and he agreed to it! 🙂

When I took the pizza back to him, I told him I got him a soda too in case he’d like a little something else besides the beer! Also, as I parted, I told him  “God loves you” because I wanted him to know that truth!

That’s when he told me, “I know. He’s showing me through you. Thank you.”

We are to the be the hands and feet of god in this world. “Where is God?” people may ask.  Believers, we are God’s emissaries. We are to do his work for helping and loving others where we can.

For the first time, today, I truly spoke to and prayed for another, not out of my obligation of being a Christian (though those initial truths coming forth were not very Christ-like at all!). Today, I felt like I could really help him – that he needed help and Christ can truly help him. I know this to be true. For that, I felt I helped him, and that was good!