Blessed by the Resurrection: Glory to Glory

I’ve often wonder why people lose their faith, and figured it must be because they never really gave God a real shot – they never had the really hard trials of life and got to the other side where they knew it was the hand of God that got them there.

Testimony

So, 13 years ago, Lent, I chose to give us cigarettes (19 years), alcohol (19 years), weed (15ish years). I thought if I could do it for 40 days, that would be a good start, and I may be home free. This was part of my desire to really be repentant though – I think I had been baptized earlier that year and thought to see if I might go back to weed again, if God would still love me, but everything in me told me not to, but I did instead – only because when I voiced it one day, the weed showed up another, and I decided to go for it. What a horrible move! I think I started on everything again, too. Well, all hell broke loose after that time in many awful ways, I got boils on my face, a first, my brother and I had the worst fights of our life – we weren’t prone to fighting, and it was awful! And, a terror stuck through my house that I will not go into.

While at a friend’s house “partying” one night as my norm, I inquired as to what lent was. When he told me, I thought I could certainly use that – being repentant. I had been really “bad” lately, and I needed to do that.

I gave up everything. The first two weeks were a bear, but I made it through and made it through to the 40 days. I thought if went back after that, I was an idiot. I’d already been baptized, and had long striven to be free of drugs, alcohol and smokes, everything, and, lent proved my way out of that mess again, and I desperately needed it.

I stayed clean and free of that.

I used to go to AA on and off, but I guess in my heart never felt like an alcoholic though I drank like one most times. My thinking – it was a bad habit, and yes, it was. My belief too was this was between me and God. If I could get that worked out, and believe He really loved me, I wouldn’t need to drink, nor would I need AA. Something like that.

At any rate, I never went back to AA, and though in the past 13 years I have had 6 drinks on 4 different occasions, I am free.

Grace Permanently Changes Us

What I have come to know is that the grace of God is what changes us permanently. Now, he will give us over to our ways, if we choose to persist in those as referenced in Romans 1:24, but I fought for so long to be free, and I am. There was such a desire in me to be pure, yet I had lived in bondage for so long that it was tremendously hard to stay free for any length of time – I always knew I would go back because mentally I hadn’t worked out my issues, even with years of sobriety at different times. However, once we are free, we are free indeed!

Jesus Christ came as grace and truth, John 1;17. I had my aunt say some years back, “There but the grace of God go I.” I never understood that statement truly when I heard it in AA, but knowing what I did then, and having experienced his freeing grace in other circumstances in my life, I knew what it meant, finally, that day it came from her lips.

Living the Resurrected Life – Glory to Glory

So, Easter Sunday – the Resurrection. The old man is gone, all things have been made new. 2 Corinthians 5:17 more fully reads: Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

I feel the reason I don’t go back to my old ways, other than they are death, and I lived the terror they ushered in after I went back, is because I have experienced the resurrection life since then.

I’ve often wonder why people lose their faith, and figured it must be because they never really gave God a real shot – they never had the really hard trials of life and got to the other side where they knew it was the hand of God that got them there.

That is what I believe keeps me believing. I trusted in the hard times. I sought God. I did my part. God presented Himself as real to me. I have stayed a believer because of these many trials that have showed me God – where God let me find Him. “Ask and it will be given. Seek and you will find.” Matthew 7:7.

My point in telling you all of this today – just to give a shout of to the Lord – to Jesus, the savior of my life. He is real. God is real. They are here for us – Jesus came to give us life and life more abundantly.

I thought this morning also about this limitation I feel in myself, and from where it’s come. I’m not speaking of it here today because I have only just realized it, but I know that it’s just another level, another hump I give to God now that I’ve recognized it – to lay at the cross, and to be an overcomer even of it to usher in the next level of glory. “But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord. 2 Corinthians 3:8. Keeping my eyes focused on Jesus, not myself, will usher in with the Spirit of the Lord, to the next level of glory in my life.  

As I wrap myself as a cocoon in the word of the Lord to transform my mind, and body during this next season of my life, I trust I will transform again to the next glorified state to come. I feel this so completely right now.

So, my friends, embrace the resurrected life – usher in the Spirit of the Lord – the risen Christ had died for us and been raised that we might live fully these beautiful, wonderful lives we’ve been given.

Happy Easter. May you come to know the risen Christ in your life and your family’s. The old things are gone, behold, all things have been made new!

Thank you for reading. May you become one in the risen Christ.

Holly

When Speaking Your Truth Causes You to Lose Your Dad, but God Trumps Your Reality

My Story Based on Malachi 4:6, and how God’s word did not return to Him Void, like it says in Isaiah 55:11: So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. . .
That would be Malachi 4:6 for me and dad:)
Awesome 🙂

My devastating reality of speaking the truth came into being. When I spoke my truth to my dad my biggest fear was realized, that he would no longer have a relationship with me, and that was the case – “I think it better we no longer speak,” was all I got to in response to an email I sent him, after the bit about me having “Crossed a line.”

Well, that got me requesting prayer at church one afternoon soon where someone prayed over me and for my dad Malachi 4:6.

“He will turn the heart of the father to the children, and the heart of the children to the father.”

What followed was indeed miraculous, and grace showered upon me like it was being poured out from heaven upon my head – days later – out of no where. Bizarre, and beautiful.

Love and compassion flooded in me washing my “bad” thoughts about my dad away, and leaving nothing but good. God worked his miracle working power in this circumstance of my heart, and, I found out later, my dad’s.

God is such a marvelous Father – loving us so much. Even know I was the one with the bitterness in me toward my dad for his lack of x,y,z that he failed to do, I wasn’t the one who was consoled. God gave me His grace to love my dad! I LOVE THAT! Heart emoji.

Listen and learn of the grace of God, healing me and my dad forever more. He’s so good!

Podcast: Malachi Daughter and Dad

Malachai 4:6 And the Lord will turn the hearts of the father’s to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers. Had this prayed over me for me and my pop for a harmed relationship we had, and within a week I had grace pour over me randomly, washing out my hurt and pouring in the love and compassion of the Father for my dad. We would have a new relationship from that point forward.

Here are some excerpts from the audio file, below.

I told him in an email. I wrote it with the intention of hopefully coming clean with everything with respect to how I felt about him and that type of treatment, everything hoping he’d acknowledge me, that my feelings matter – I even used my siblings hurt too about some of his behavior toward them with respect to this, which maybe I shouldn’t have – it crossed a line. I just told him all of the hurts. I was done pretending, and my build-up, boiled over.

I was honest. I was a little mean too, I guess. It included my fears and hurts about some ways he’d treated me over the years and how I was not interested in that relationship anymore. I wanted and deserved more and better from him. For us.

We had this relationship much of my life where he would do what he would do and I would just accept it whether I liked it or not because mostly I wanted him to love me, and I did not want to rock the boat so I wouldn’t tell him how certain behaviors affected me. I would just blow it off – accepting it as him.

My hope, that he would treat what I was saying with some kind of respect and honor what little I was asking. I was hoping for a somewhat favorable response. Not. He answered, “I think it best that we no longer communicate with one each other. You’ve crossed a line.”

Anyway, though I felt resolved and good for me for taking myself and my feelings into consideration finally, more than his for once, I still wanted my dad. I’d always wanted my dad. That never goes away. I believe even if we are right or justified with our actions, the case remains that we wish for our parents to love us and to be the mature, guiding family they are intended to be, and to do what is right, always – for everyone, but they don’t always.

I believe that if we are without a good relationship with our parents, it hurts us. We are made to love and to be loved, you’d think especially by those who brought us into this world.

Accepting what he wrote, and taking full responsibility for what I wrote, my reply to him was, in effect, “I am sorry for what I wrote in that it came across meanly, but, I am in no way sorry for the content of what I wrote. What I wrote was all true, and if you cannot handle that, then that is on you, but I will in no way apologize for what I said.”

I felt strong and right for having stuck up for myself. It was the first time in my life with my dad like that. I left it at that. I was glad I didn’t feel diminished. Though I was sadly devastated, I was glad not to have caved, and wrote something back weak and self-denying, like, “Oh forgive me, I am so sorry, I don’t mean it. Please forgive me. Come back.” Essentially begging him not to leave me all the while not acknowledging the truth of who I was and how I have felt hurt by how he had treated me in certain situations. I was tired of the denial and deceit of what not standing up for me represented – a façade, as saying to myself that I don’t matter. I wasn’t willing to tolerate behavior that was deceitful nor was I willing to let myself down anymore essentially accepting that I did not matter. If I don’t matter, then let’s be true with it. I was done with all of that though. I could at least stand tall even know I was a sad on some level too.