Persisting in the Absence of Major Progress

My 12 month journey of healing a condition I have on my legs, and an overhaul of my body, began in January with a focus on health and my skin.

I came to a place last week where I realized the focus on my skin may need to persist, which is has, as the primary focus of this year’s journey.

I moved on the the muscular-skeletal system last month with little progress there besides going for walks, doing yoga, getting a couple of massages and by need only, going to the chiropractor. My focus there was because I have had bad knees for 20+ years, but since I tore my meniscus almost 10 years, it seems there’s been one issue following another, but the good thing with that is exercise always helps – except when it causes more problems. I was told last summer to no longer run after my leg locked up on me and I literally could not move forward, I had severe weakness, and I even randomly collapsed on top of one of my students who was seated – awful. I did not accept that prognosis, but have kept it to a super! minimum, and now am at a point where I am trying to strengthen my knees and the muscles around them to rectify the problem.

So, despite my video on the the Spirit of Self-Control, I have gone to the gym less than I should have, and I almost got a personal trainer just to help me have more of a commitment to the healing process, but b/c seeing a trainer 2x/week costs $480/month, and I did not see much use in going to a trainer once a week, I bagged it. Maybe I should have, but I figured save the extra $200/month and get the Spirit of Self-Control operating a little more effectively this month and beyond! That is my plan.

A few weeks back, if that, I came to the realization that “I can’t keep up.” I was taking a walk to have a talk to God when I was trying to figure out what my issue was, the heaviness and bad feeling I was experiencing, and what came to me was clear, “I can’t keep up!” I’m digressing a bit, but my point is, with work alone, I have so much responsibility and other things I have committed to outside of work for myself are overwhelming.

I can't keep up

Now, I am taking care of everything, but not as intently as I may like, like working out and blogging and researching about muscles and bones, and keeping up with my studying to take my professional certification test for horticulture. It may not seem like much, but when everything has a deadline, it’s overwhelming. It was overwhelming until I recognized it. I was so relieved to have realize it, or actually to have God have brought it to my awareness, that I was relieved! It was a simple truth! So lightening!I love it! To let it go to God and to have it off my shoulders.

I do not remember the heat of the emotion of the precipitating event or what I did besides admit it, but I likely asked for grace to get through all of it. Also, I think admission that I can’t do it all was a humbling I needed to have. I am a a believer that I can do it all, but one thing I’ve realized, is that there is a limit on what I can do at any one time.  Yes, maybe I can and I will do it all. In time. But, I need help for all my goals to be accomplished, and I need time.

Funnily, I began to be more organized and productive at work! Grace. That motivated me to be more productive and organized, of course, too. I have a lightening of my load which ended on Friday, and I have one more big push outside of my regular teaching responsibilities that has to get done for graduation, and then it will be the end of the year by about a week. But this busiest two years of my professional career is about to come to a close.

organized

My point is that I have failed to do more with focusing on my health, but I have to say blogging about it and researching about it, at much as I would have liked to do more of the latter, was not a priority – one other important thing I realized. I impose so much of my stress. I did feel maybe I should drop the $480/month, and maybe I will and consider it a life-long investment, like the trip I made to Mexico at the beginning of February for my niece’s wedding – family memories – a life long-investment.

IMG_8503
Impromptu Trip to Mexico – Family Investment

My point is still that, I may have failed to “do more with focusing on my health,” but I succeeded in persisting in doing something still and not dropping it altogether because I don’t have it all together – giving up because I am not keeping up. It’s part of the process, and I am learning a lot from the business of my life – my favorite thing is to slow down and be in the moment – you can experience so much joy and peace in a moment – a walk to the car – laying down and listening to the fan before you fall to sleep – loving your house and your decorations, listening to the traffic in the distance as you eat and listen to music. Whatever it is, it can be so small, and fleeting, but I am learning to do that, be in the moment, and it’s so great. When I perfect that in every moment, wow! That will be a life.

Maybe I didn’t do a great job at what I thought I needed to achieve, but I definitely achieved what I didn’t know I even needed. I hadn’t planned on improving my mental health last month. What a bonus!

Progress wins! I heard a woman on the radio today say how if she keeps going to the gym, she can’t help but to make progress, or see results, something like that. Yes!

The point, yes, we may not being doing it 100% 100% of the time, but, for me, as long as I persist in all the myriad of goals I have, 100% of them will be accomplished, and, the most important ones will be met 100%.

Progress

January – Integumentary System – Focus on Skin

  • Eating with Purpose: New foods for skin
  • Supplemention: A, D, E, copper, amino acid powder

February – Muscular-Skeletal System

  • Working out: Yoga, walking, stretching, squats
  • Supplementation: Lysine (bones, muscles and collagen production). Continuing same supplements from January
  • Bonus: Mental health – learning to slow down and enjoy myself

To My Health & Yours,

Holly

12 Months of Healing – Recounting progress I have tried to make over the past two months, but I am not finding much success. March’s focus – The Immune System