Lightening Struck – My prayer answered for direction

My prayer one afternoon was to be struck with lightening, and without harm, for me to know what God’s will was for my life – would I stay in England or leave? Wanting to leave, I felt to stay, but I did not want to stay. More than either, what I wanted is to know what God wanted, for sure. I wanted to know He was with me. I have come to find that if I believe God is with me, I can handle anything – if I know the path I’m on is His.

I know God is with us whether we make our bed in hell or heaven, but because I felt like I’d been in hell already there, I was looking to depart. If I knew He was with me, and it was His will for me to continue on, I would be able to do so with grace.

Praying my desperate prayer for confirmation, I felt badly right afterwards, for wasting God’s time. Like, what a stupid prayer. Just face up to your responsibilities and do it, if that is what you feel you are to do! Well, He was merciful toward me, and He did not strike me down, but I had my prayer answered. Lightening struck, and I stayed.

Work was better than ever, but more “problems” pursued personally with living situations, but God used everyone of them to show me Himself in my circumstances, only making things better and better every time and growing me and drawing me more closely to Him. Incredible situations presented where I was able to find Him loving me as a Father, Jesus as my brother, and the Holy Spirit as my gentle peace followed by an ever increasing faith in Him. That was the best gift, well, knowing He really cared for me and loves me was the best, and is, but having circumstance after circumstance show me that He Is, and He Is for and with me.

What a great time in my life. All the struggles to find Him. All worth it.

Full story below on podcast.

When Speaking Your Truth Causes You to Lose Your Dad, but God Trumps Your Reality

My Story Based on Malachi 4:6, and how God’s word did not return to Him Void, like it says in Isaiah 55:11: So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. . .
That would be Malachi 4:6 for me and dad:)
Awesome 🙂

My devastating reality of speaking the truth came into being. When I spoke my truth to my dad my biggest fear was realized, that he would no longer have a relationship with me, and that was the case – “I think it better we no longer speak,” was all I got to in response to an email I sent him, after the bit about me having “Crossed a line.”

Well, that got me requesting prayer at church one afternoon soon where someone prayed over me and for my dad Malachi 4:6.

“He will turn the heart of the father to the children, and the heart of the children to the father.”

What followed was indeed miraculous, and grace showered upon me like it was being poured out from heaven upon my head – days later – out of no where. Bizarre, and beautiful.

Love and compassion flooded in me washing my “bad” thoughts about my dad away, and leaving nothing but good. God worked his miracle working power in this circumstance of my heart, and, I found out later, my dad’s.

God is such a marvelous Father – loving us so much. Even know I was the one with the bitterness in me toward my dad for his lack of x,y,z that he failed to do, I wasn’t the one who was consoled. God gave me His grace to love my dad! I LOVE THAT! Heart emoji.

Listen and learn of the grace of God, healing me and my dad forever more. He’s so good!

The Captor of My Raptor

I will need God’s continual! help and grace certainly here.

Today I saw a saying by Anais Nin I used to have when I was in my 20’s, and I’m reminded of now.
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom! Anais Nin

Sometimes I have visions randomly – like today. My vision was of an eagle emerging head first out of the cushions of the bottom of the couch, eager to get out. His head was unruffled, and he was moving up from it quickly, talons out, pushing upwards and outwards. That was it. I saw it emerge about half way out and the vision ended.

I took it as a good sign. Looking up eagle symbolism left me with a positive note: The  “Eagle conveys the powers and messages of the spirit; it is man’s connection to the divine because it flies higher than any other bird. … If eagle has appeared, it bestows freedom and courage to look ahead. The eagle is symbolic of the importance of honesty and truthful principles.”

My take-away from that was the looking ahead bit.

In my morning prayer today, I was positively making declarations, binding and loosing things from my past that have hindered me, and things to develop that will produce good fruit it me, respectively.  My memory brought to mind a woman who’d given me a reading one year in my 20’s who told me I have a wheel of fortune around me, but I will never “cash” in on it. I bound that up, cast it out today, and loosed upon me diligence and God’s will in my life – for Him to complete what He has begun in me – there are so many things. I have also remembered some of my mom’s writings to me: “Stay away from the psychic – that will lead you down someone else’s path. Stay with the Holy Spirit – that is the only spirit you are equipped to handle.” Also, I was using a lot during those times, – so, maybe that is what he was reading, too. That if I stayed in that state, I never would have accomplished anything. I have had so many ideas and inspirations, and have finished so few.

That has been part of my problem. My interests, plans, ideas, etc. are so many that I have found it difficult to pursue any of them with completion. I have a lot of started projects.

Over the summer, and the reason I started this blog and called it Transparency247 was because of my intention to come out with it all. However, my first intended blog, I have kept because, ironically, too ashamed was I to put it out there because part of it had to do with admitting to God that I would never complete my will in this life, feeling like I just don’t have it in me. The good thing is that God is in charge! I do still have a part to play, and part of that is asking God for his help in and with accomplishing my goals. Laziness is what I need to get rid of, and it is found on the couch which it seems, once I sit on, is hard to get off. It’s like Velcro. And, my excuses kept me down, also. I work so hard I want to relax, etc! I’d justified my way into complacency!!

God is able to do more than we can ever imagine, according to Ephesians.  3:19 – 21 Image result for eph 3 19 - 21

Turning my will over to God is the Key. Set your sights on Him, and He will direct your  paths. Proverbs 3:6. Key. Easy. Keep turning over and keep trusting Him. He is in charge.

“How can a man know his steps, the Lord directs His way,” Proverb 20:24.  Also, getting with the program and making my plans, God will take care of it, according to Proverbs 16:9:

Path In A Man's Heart

How can I worry if I keep trusting God and turning over my will, seeking His will, and trusting him? He will make it all right, and I will be in perfect peace. I have to trust and pray. That’s all. Well, do good, love God and others, and everything else will take care of itself. Oh yea, I have to actually take steps to accomplish my goals, too. That’s the kicker. I will need God’s continual! help and grace certainly here. This is what’s hindered me in the past, but I have to move on beyond it.

Today I saw a saying by Anais Nin I used to have when I was in my 20’s, and I’m reminded of now.

Image result for and the day came when the risk of remaining tight in a bud

I am reminded also of the verse in the bible that talks about discipline in Hebrews 12:10:

Our fathers disciplined us for a short time as they thought best, but God disciplines us for our good, so that we may share in His holiness.

11 No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful.Later on, however, it yields a peaceful harvest of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

So, today, my steps were toward success; My wheel of fortune; My raptor flying free, and  Accomplishing My God-inspired Goals with His Help.

Discipline is calling. Diligence is necessary. Deliverance is assured!

I am ready to be free. I am ready to fly high.

Image result for he will mount up wings eagles

My Camera Podcast

I got this camera in response to a prayer to God to help me get a camera to capture the beauty around which I found myself. I was too poor to afford one, so He helped me out! The next day!  And, it was only like $2 – $3 bucks. I had been seeking God pretty hard during this time, and this was just another reminder that he loves me, helps me, and shows me. And, it was another thing that “He added unto me.” 🙂 Love that! He’s so awesome. Thank you, Lord! (7:50)

Podcast: Malachi Daughter and Dad

Malachai 4:6 And the Lord will turn the hearts of the father’s to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers. Had this prayed over me for me and my pop for a harmed relationship we had, and within a week I had grace pour over me randomly, washing out my hurt and pouring in the love and compassion of the Father for my dad. We would have a new relationship from that point forward.

Here are some excerpts from the audio file, below.

I told him in an email. I wrote it with the intention of hopefully coming clean with everything with respect to how I felt about him and that type of treatment, everything hoping he’d acknowledge me, that my feelings matter – I even used my siblings hurt too about some of his behavior toward them with respect to this, which maybe I shouldn’t have – it crossed a line. I just told him all of the hurts. I was done pretending, and my build-up, boiled over.

I was honest. I was a little mean too, I guess. It included my fears and hurts about some ways he’d treated me over the years and how I was not interested in that relationship anymore. I wanted and deserved more and better from him. For us.

We had this relationship much of my life where he would do what he would do and I would just accept it whether I liked it or not because mostly I wanted him to love me, and I did not want to rock the boat so I wouldn’t tell him how certain behaviors affected me. I would just blow it off – accepting it as him.

My hope, that he would treat what I was saying with some kind of respect and honor what little I was asking. I was hoping for a somewhat favorable response. Not. He answered, “I think it best that we no longer communicate with one each other. You’ve crossed a line.”

Anyway, though I felt resolved and good for me for taking myself and my feelings into consideration finally, more than his for once, I still wanted my dad. I’d always wanted my dad. That never goes away. I believe even if we are right or justified with our actions, the case remains that we wish for our parents to love us and to be the mature, guiding family they are intended to be, and to do what is right, always – for everyone, but they don’t always.

I believe that if we are without a good relationship with our parents, it hurts us. We are made to love and to be loved, you’d think especially by those who brought us into this world.

Accepting what he wrote, and taking full responsibility for what I wrote, my reply to him was, in effect, “I am sorry for what I wrote in that it came across meanly, but, I am in no way sorry for the content of what I wrote. What I wrote was all true, and if you cannot handle that, then that is on you, but I will in no way apologize for what I said.”

I felt strong and right for having stuck up for myself. It was the first time in my life with my dad like that. I left it at that. I was glad I didn’t feel diminished. Though I was sadly devastated, I was glad not to have caved, and wrote something back weak and self-denying, like, “Oh forgive me, I am so sorry, I don’t mean it. Please forgive me. Come back.” Essentially begging him not to leave me all the while not acknowledging the truth of who I was and how I have felt hurt by how he had treated me in certain situations. I was tired of the denial and deceit of what not standing up for me represented – a façade, as saying to myself that I don’t matter. I wasn’t willing to tolerate behavior that was deceitful nor was I willing to let myself down anymore essentially accepting that I did not matter. If I don’t matter, then let’s be true with it. I was done with all of that though. I could at least stand tall even know I was a sad on some level too.

Bankable Memories – A Birthday Surprise for Mike and a Training Surprise for Me

So, my trip to supporting my family friend turned about to be supportive to me, as well. Blessings go both ways!! 😊
What a loving gift I got, too, as I went to celebrate him! I got celebrated, too, for my training.

My memory will have that moment forever, for how happy he seemed for some reason, and what a fun moment that was!

August 1

My ex-brother-in-law, Mike, had a birthday yesterday. He’s got to be pushing 70 or more – quite a bit older than my sister, he was.

Yesterday I thought to go and spend the day with him. In the morning, I had a flat and had to work out. Prayed about it in the a.m. with respect to having a confirmation of pwhat I was feeling. I opened the bible, and what I turned to was in Psalms, I believe, and it said something about “birthday feast.” Perfect. That settles it.

Went to take my car in and do my training, and by the time I got back it was after noon. I cleaned up myself and felt like I’d rather relax on the couch which is where I found myself sitting doing just that.

It was after 1, and the drive across 70 through FL is my most boring, hated, 3-hour drive, and with no radio!

I consulted the Lord again, what should I do? Do you really want me to go? I got a word from Isaiah that read, “Set you mind on the highway.” I was so excited because it was so clear and, I called Mike and let him know of my plan. Happily, he was out a dock bar having a birthday celebration with some friends and locals.  I asked if he’d be around later, and he said he had no plans. I told him was planning on coming over and taking him out for a birthday dinner! “Yah!” was his great response, in his cute Mike fashion that he does when he’s really excited. It’s so cute like a young kid.

I got off the couch immediately and gladly got about my business. Cleaned up a bit here, packed my bags and readied myself for the highway for the birthday feast celebration. I was so excited for Mike’s excitement and for having clear direction, my road trip woes were destroyed.

I prayed too the trip be shorter, somehow. When my GPS sent me a different way than I’d always gone it’s shaved a half hour off my trip! Yah!!

I got Mike a couple little silly things – a “birthday cupcake” which he requested. It was a chocolate muffin he called a “cupcake,” a card and some candy, a birthday balloon, and that was it. Not much. My visit, and the dinner, were the gifts. Thought he should have a card at least. Something to open! 😊

When I arrived, I sung to him after he opened the door for a quick happy birthday to you – he laughed and took it in.  We greeted each other warmly.

Mike wanted chicken parm which we eventually went out for and had a yummy feast! He was happy! I ate so much. He barely finished his dinner, because he had tacos for lunch he claimed, making him full, whereas I’d only had a tuna sandwich after an hour and a half at the gym, barely anything all day. I was ready to eat. Salad, bread, stuffed mushroom appetizer and a pasta and chicken dish. I ate almost every bit of it. A café latte and biscotti to boot. Mike was too full for a birthday cake, but had a “classic coffee,” as he puts it.  We chatted for some time. He shared how happy he was with the everything which made me pleased! Felt glad it was birthday feast success which was worth the trip over!

My plan the following morning was to train. My legs and knee felt good, gladly. Figured I would run first being it was about the time I would be running, 8:45, and I was working on proper conditioning. I was going for the distance for Saturday, 3.2 miles, a 5K. Planning on running around his neighborhood 4 times, according to him, would likely make that distance. Turns out, I ran 4 miles which was GREAT!!

My morning highlight, after the beautiful morning weather I enjoyed with coffee as I reminisced about Miami weather as a kid, was after making my first lap, seeing Mike in his garage waiting to cheer me on. What a great surprise!! I loved it. It made me so happy. I won’t have anybody at the event with me, so him cheering me on was really special. Bankable memories are what I began accumulating. Rich memories.

One of the things I realized with my run that morning was that like swimming I was originally having a hard time breathing which I’d forgotten – I’ve run little during these 3.2 weeks of training, and haven’t run much at all this summer! So, that was good to realize – that whatever my race, I will find my pace eventually, it may take me a minute or 15 to find my breath and then regulate it, but I’ll get there as long as I don’t panic! So, I felt my pace eventually, and it felt good. Mike even commented on my pace being good, but later told me to pick it up. 😊

I think I loved most what I came next. As I was going for lap two, I saw Mike heading toward me. I did not know it was him for a while. I’m not sure what sparked it, but the smile he had was the best I’ve ever seen on him.

It’s so rare to see a smile from him like that. It was great. Perfect! I’ve termed it one of those “bankable smiles.”

My memory will have that moment forever, for how happy he seemed for some reason, and what a fun moment that was! It was joyous! I’m not sure why or what was said. Maybe it was my laughing at the recognition of it being him coming toward me on my bike! Thought that was funny. He eventually began too with his army chant, “left, right, left, right, left.” He kept on. We laughed. We got back to his place. He eventually pulled in the drive, and I ran on.

He continued to be outside cheering me on, off and on with his coffee in hand, and a wave or cheer and a smile. Something supportive. It was super! I will be so grateful for those sweet memories, always! Fun and memorable are what he made that particular morning of training. It was great. Memorable, for sure. Completely unexpected and fun! Thank you, Mike!!

So, my trip to supporting my family friend turned about to be supportive to me, as well. Blessings go both ways!! 😊

What a loving gift I got, too, as I went to celebrate him! I got celebrated, too, for my training. I won’t have anybody I know cheering me on at the actual event, but, I will see Mike in my head and hear him in my ears as I make my transitions, and I finally cross the finish line winning for myself the title of triathlete.

Me Bike Train 2

Cheers to you, Mike. Thanks, too, for the fun, bankable memories! I love you.

Holly

Podcast: A Prophetic Prayer re: Gerry Who I Met Later That Day

Having come to a sadness within myself of not having a home of my own, I found myself very sadly crying one afternoon in a parking lot wishing, praying to God, for a beautiful home of my own
surrounded by a place of beauty.
I didn’t know a Gerry, but having prayed a prophetic prayer a few months before, I trusted that was the Holy Spirit praying through me, again, according to Romans 8:26 – 27.

Gerry 
Occurred August 2010
This story is what has inspired all of my other stories. It was truly God’s greatness answering me, evidently. Love to you, Father. (1 Gerry 26:31), (2 Gerry 14:40)